"Re-Gratitude" as Relationship Maintenance: Structural Analysis of Pragmatic Transfer and Japanese "Giri"

Introduction

"Sensei, thank you so much for yesterday's career consultation." How would you feel if a learner said this to you when passing in the hallway in the morning? You might feel a bit proud, thinking, "Ah, that guidance really reached their heart."

On the other hand, what if you spent hours providing correction guidance, but the next day in class they simply handed in their work saying "Sensei, here's today's homework" as if nothing had happened? While grammatically correct, this exchange leaves a small sense of "roughness" in the Japanese psyche.

The true nature of this "roughness" is the absence of "re-gratitude (delayed gratitude)", which is the theme of this article. This is not merely a matter of manners, but linguistically speaking, a serious communication gap called "Pragmatic Failure."

As a professional Japanese language teacher, this article will delve into the following three points:

1. The collision between other cultures' "completeness of gratitude" and Japan's "continuity"
2. Balance sheet theory of relationships based on "giri" and "on"
3. Teaching methods to resolve learners' anxiety about "Will I seem pushy?"

1. The Blind Spot of Pragmatic Transfer: Why "Once Is Not Enough"

Many learners, especially those from Western and Chinese-speaking regions, perceive gratitude as a form of "equivalent exchange."

• Logic in other cultures: Person A provides a kindness, Person B says "thank you." At this point, the transaction is considered "settled (complete)."
• Logic in Japanese culture: Gratitude is not complete with one expression. By mentioning it again the next time you meet, the kindness is finally considered to have "settled into the layers of memory."

This is called "pragmatic transfer." Learners unconsciously apply their native language rule of "complete in one go" to Japanese. As a result, in the eyes of Japanese people, they appear to have "forgotten the favor" or be "lacking in manners." This is a terrifying blind spot because it directly affects personal evaluation more than grammatical mistakes.

2. "Giri" and the Balance Sheet of Relationships

Human relationships in Japanese society are managed through an invisible ledger of "debts and credits," a kind of "balance sheet."

The State of Psychological "Indebtedness"

The moment someone receives a kindness (on), a "debt" is recorded on the recipient's balance sheet. Saying "thank you" on the spot is merely issuing a "receipt."

The act of repeating "Thank you for yesterday" the next day is a declaration of intent: "I have not forgotten the psychological debt I owe you." This allows the other person to be convinced that "this person is trustworthy (has credit)" and enables the relationship to move toward deeper trust.

Re-Gratitude as Social Capital

Neglecting re-gratitude means treating the other person's kindness as a "natural right." This makes it difficult to receive help from them the next time you're in trouble. Re-gratitude is an accumulation of "social capital" to secure future assistance.

3. Re-Gratitude as Phatic Communion

Linguist Malinowski called conversations aimed at maintaining relationships rather than conveying content "Phatic Communion."

In Japanese communication, jumping straight into the main topic (information transmission) tends to be seen as rude behavior that invades the other person's personal space.

Shared Past Experience as a "Bridge"

While weather talk like "It's hot today" functions as a greeting, what's even more powerful is "re-gratitude." Starting with "The other day..." fills the "blank time" from the last contact to today and serves as a bridge to reconnect the sense of "uchi (in-group)."

Expression	Purpose	Psychological Effect
"It's hot, isn't it?"	Avoiding silence	Maintaining safe distance
"Thank you for the other day"	Updating the relationship	Reconfirming uchi consciousness
"That matter really helped"	Reporting results	Giving face to the other person

4. Teaching Tips for Learners: Unraveling the Structure of Misunderstanding

Advanced learners especially worry, "Won't saying the same thing multiple times diminish the weight of my words?" "Won't I seem pushy?" Teachers need to explain this with "logical rationality."

The Boundary Between "Pushy" and "Polite"

When teaching, try presenting the following concrete examples:

【Examples of Appropriate Re-Gratitude】
・The day after being treated to a meal: "Thank you for yesterday. That restaurant was really delicious"
・When returning borrowed materials: "Thank you very much. It was extremely helpful"
・After implementing advice: "I did as you advised the other day, and it worked out well!"

The key point is to add "impressions" or "results" to your gratitude. Rather than simply repeating "Thank you," reporting how that kindness affected your life satisfies the other person's "need for recognition (Face)."

10 Specific Practice Scenarios

A practical list that can be directly conveyed to learners and used starting today.

1. When receiving a souvenir from a business trip: The next day, "My family also enjoyed yesterday's snacks"
2. When borrowing an umbrella on a rainy day: When returning it, "Thanks to you, I didn't get wet"
3. When someone shows concern for your health: Next time you meet, "Thank you for your concern yesterday. I'm fine now"
4. When someone helps with work: The next morning after completion, "Yesterday was a great help. Please let me know if there's anything else"
5. When someone pays more at a drinking party: "Thank you for paying extra yesterday"
6. When someone gives directions when you're lost: (If you meet again) "Thank you for the other day. I arrived safely"
7. When someone recommends a book: When you start reading, "The book you told me about is really interesting"
8. When someone covers for your sudden absence: Upon return, "Thank you for covering during my absence"
9. When someone helps you move: After settling in, "Thank you for the other day. Everything is organized now"
10. When receiving strict criticism (guidance): The next day, "Thank you for your guidance yesterday. I'll reflect and apply it"

5. Common Mistakes (Q&A)

Q: If I say "Thank you for the other day," won't they have forgotten and ask "When was that?" A: Even if the other person has forgotten, what matters is that you remember. The attitude itself of "I value you, so I remember even small kindnesses" is what gets evaluated.

Q: Should I say it even to a boss I dislike? A: Yes. Rather, "re-gratitude" is a "defensive technique" to keep society running smoothly, regardless of emotional likes or dislikes. Think of it as a type of greeting and do it pragmatically.

Conclusion: Installing the Cultural OS

The goal of Japanese language education is not simply to enable learners to create correct sentences. It's to teach the "social dynamics" in which those words are spoken, so learners can act without bugs on the OS that is Japanese society.

"Re-gratitude" is a magical tool that can build maximum trust at zero cost. "Saying yesterday's thanks one more time." By teaching this simple habit, learners' lives in Japan will dramatically improve.

Three pieces of advice you can implement today:

1. At the beginning of class, ask "How was yesterday's lesson?" to create opportunities for gratitude.
2. Logically explain that Japanese "giri" is the "duration of memory."
3. Teachers themselves should model by saying "Thank you for the other day" to colleagues and learners.

Re-gratitude is not an attachment to the past. It's a forward-looking "update process" to strengthen relationships from tomorrow onward.