AI Engineer/Japanese Language Educator
2/1/2026
"Sensei, that student seems motivated, but... their eyes are a bit intimidating."
Have you ever received feedback like this from career support staff or external interviewers? Or have you personally experienced feeling overwhelmed when talking with learners from Western or South Asian countries, finding yourself taking a step back?
The truth is, they are not trying to intimidate you at all. In fact, it's quite the opposite. In their cultures, "Look me in the eye" is a sign of sincerity and trust. Looking directly into someone's eyes is the ultimate expression of respect, saying "I am listening to you seriously."
However, this is where Japanese society becomes tricky. In Japan's high-context culture, prolonged intense eye contact can sometimes be translated as "surveillance," "challenge," or in the worst case, "glaring (hostility)."
This article provides a thorough explanation of the interpretation technique for delivering learners' "sincere enthusiasm" comfortably to Japanese people—the "soft focus" technique that lowers the intensity of eye contact and its teaching methods, drawing on over 10 years of teaching experience.
Let's learn together!
When teaching, simply imposing "it's Japanese manners" on students won't help them truly understand. First, let's logically explain the difference in "OS (Operating System)" behind why Japanese people avoid direct eye contact.
For Japanese people, continuously staring into someone's pupils means invading their privacy and psychological personal space. When someone fixes their gaze on them, Japanese people's defensive instincts kick in, thinking "Did I do something wrong?" or "Am I about to be attacked?" making them feel uncomfortable.
In sociolinguistics, politeness is classified into "positive politeness (attitude of trying to get along)" and "negative politeness (attitude of not invading others' territory)." While Western eye contact represents the former, Japanese manners overwhelmingly represent the latter.
Appropriately breaking eye contact is a Japanese form of care, saying "I am not monitoring you" and "I respect your freedom."
While we say "eyes speak as much as the mouth," actual classroom instructions often become vague like "don't look too much, but don't look away." Let's convert this into "physical actions" that learners can reproduce.
Instead of looking directly at the other person's pupils (irises), teach them to vaguely look at the throat area or tie knot. I call this "soft focus."
[Example in Business Situations]
While the interviewer is asking questions, the student places their gaze
around the "Adam's apple" to "tie knot" area, not at the interviewer's pupils.
This way, the other person feels reassured that "they're listening to me," while not experiencing the "piercing pain" of direct eye contact.
Continuously looking at one spot is also unnatural. Teach the technique of appropriately breaking eye contact at conversational punctuation points or when starting to speak.
A surprisingly overlooked point is bowing. Western learners often try to look at the other person's face while bowing, causing their chin to lift.
[Correct Gaze During Bowing]
Standing upright: Look at the other person's throat area
While bowing: Drop your gaze to the floor 1-2m ahead of your feet
After raising your head: Return your gaze to the other person's throat area
I've created a comparison table that can be distributed to learners or used in slides. By visualizing these differences, learners can adopt the mindset of "which rules to play by" rather than "which is correct."
| Feature | Western Eye Contact | Japanese Eye Contact (Soft Focus) |
|---|---|---|
| Main Purpose | Sincerity, confidence, building trust | Maintaining harmony, consideration for others (non-invasive) |
| Gaze Position | Direct eye contact with pupils | Vaguely looking at throat, nose, or entire face |
| Duration | Maintained almost throughout speaking | Break every few seconds, look down at punctuation |
| Meaning of Breaking Gaze | Hiding something, lack of confidence, boredom | Humility, contemplation, respect for others |
| Gaze During Bowing | Maintain contact (eye contact) | Look at feet (downcast eyes) |
Even with intellectual understanding, ingrained habits are hard to break. Therefore, I recommend the following pair work.
Many students comment that "continuously looking at eyes is tiring and felt like being scolded." This realization of "discomfort" becomes the greatest driving force for behavioral change.
Here are frequently asked questions from learners and teaching pitfalls.
A: "Confidence" is important in Japan too, but it's expressed through good posture and tone of voice, not through intense eye contact. Rather, being able to appropriately control your gaze is evaluated as "composure (self-control)."
A: This is a typical NG pattern.
[NG Example]
Student: "(Looking at the floor the whole time) I want to work at your company..."
Interviewer: "(They seem unmotivated, can they communicate...?)"
"Looking down" should only serve as "punctuation." At the end of sentences or when waiting for the other person's response, teach them to always return their gaze to "soft focus (throat area)."
A: Yes, there are. This is called "civil inattention."
As we've seen, gaze management in Japan is not a tool for capturing others, but a manner for creating "comfortable distance" between people.
I always tell my students: "Your gaze should not be a hand that grasps the other person's heart tightly, but a gentle hand that touches lightly on their shoulder."
Once learners master this "soft focus" sense, their sincerity will reach Japanese hearts without misunderstanding.
Teaching nonverbal communication requires patience, but once acquired, it becomes a lifelong asset. Please try incorporating it into your class starting tomorrow!
AI Engineer/Japanese Language Educator